Update: Peapod just showed up. It’s 10:05. Ugh.

Ooooh, tomorrow I’m getting my hair did. Then I get to hobnob with a bunch of friends at the United With Love meet and greet for wedding professionals. I love when “working” involves getting dressed up and drinking at my favorite bar with people I like. What it will not involve, however, is bringing my camera.

Wrapping an oversized baby shower present when you forgot to run to Paper Source in time and don’t know the gender? Think quilt. This was two full size sheets taped together, seaming in the center. Cover the seam with a flat bottom, flat bow. Flat knots take less ribbon. Tie with a vintage post card you happened to have picked up at a Paris flea market and you’re good to go….

What? You don’t stock vintage post cards from Paris? Now, I’m totally going to judge you. Kidding.

This is for my friend Jen’s shower tomorrow. Our mutual friend, The Future Mrs. Darcy, is in town with her new baby, Fiona. Some Honey Badger humor inspired me to write her a new nursery rhyme last night. It was hysterical to me, but got me shushed by my husband who was trying to sleep.  Feel free to sing it your children.

Honey Badger is my friend, is my friend, is my friend.

Honey Badger is my friend until he eats my face.

Now I have a real problem, real problem, real problem.

Now I have a real problem cause I ain’t got no face.

Speaking of crafts: I went to NYC to see the Martha Stewart show tape. Here are some images I shot while there.

So, this is the last blog post for a while. Tomorrow I rise before the rooster to travel to the outskirts of Maryland to photograph The Motley Fool‘s annual meeting: Foolapalooza! That’s the real name. I didn’t make it up. Then it’s all Au Revoire, Simone as I head to Paris on Sunday.

Before I go I want to share an easy DIY photo booth how-to. I found this at Urban Scarlet. Also, if you haven’t discovered Pinterest yet. You should! For those of you planning weddings, this is a great interface to keep all the inspiration all over the web organized and easily shared. You can follow me here.

I just hung up the phone with my friend. She was calling on behalf of her friend, let’s call her Cate. Let’s call her Cate because since the Oscars, I have been obsessing over this dress:

I’m sick. My eyes are glassy with a fever, which somehow called to mind this photo. I’ve done one productive thing today, I walked to the library. Inclement weather is predicted for tomorrow in the DC area and I can’t be caught without something to read. Nick Hornby’s Juliet, Naked is now lying open, spine up, cast aside for my laptop.  I have two things to share. First, the book Style Statement by Carrie McCarthy & Danielle LaPorte.

This is the book most recommended to my girlfriends, but it’s not just for women. It’s for anyone who wishes to apply words to one’s aesthetic. Brand yourself! My bff is currently reading it and if the number of emails documenting her thought process is an indication – she loves it! Through guided journaling you determine what two words define your style. Use it to distill your thoughts, help you be a more effective shopper for clothing and furniture. Gain confidence in they way you present yourself to the world, knowing that it’s deliberate, authentic and personal. Personally, it helped me focus. For someone who is so visually stimulated I run the risk of being diverted from my own aesthetic path. My statement has helped me clarify what I love so I am less likely to be lost or unduly influenced by others.

In case you’re wondering what my style statement is, it is this:

The book defines a “Cherished” both in terms of their spirit and their look and feel.

Spirit: A collector of friends, experiences, and well-worn things; when a Cherished loves you, you know it. Cherished is deeply sentimental, though not necessarily stuck in the past, because Cherished is always endeavoring to create new life experiences and memories. They love to celebrate, venture out, and bring good people and worthy causes together. Cherished adores hearing or telling a good story and have plenty of them to share. Natural and gleeful caretakers, Cherised has an abundance of nurturing energy and affection, which is generously given to strengthen and sustain. They can be generous to a fault and need to remember that they do not have to save the world – caring for themselves first and foremost is a great way to be of service. With an unshakable values system and moral compass, Cherished can be remarkably determined and focused. Love is its strength.

Look & Feel: If there’s a story behind it, it works for Cherished! Nostalgic, sentimental, culturally rich, and diverse. Personalized, attention to detail, inviting. Because Cherished can be both “in the moment” and “in the past,” fashion and decor can be a combination of the simple and contemporary, vintage and Old World.

My best friend, Sarah, is trying on the word “Organic” to see if it fits.

Spirit: Organic is a divine dichotomy; practical but spontaneous, structured but flowing. The disposition of Organic is like that of bamboo – light, incredibly strong, growing freely and prolifically. Organic is mindful of the connections between parts, whether in relationships, systems, or physical things. They keenly sense what’s going on (never miss a thing!) and what need to happen in order to create harmony and ease – Organic strives to unify. They are commonsensical, practical, and organized, and adore systems and solutions that simplify or create ease and efficiency. The challenge for Organic is to accept change without overthinking it, to trust what they already know is true. Organic is wholesome with pure intentions. Their feet are on the ground, and they are in tune with the natural order, seasons, and stages of living and working.

Look & Feel: Organic’s aesthetic is based on sensuality, quality, and construction – whether structured or flowing, shape is important. Timeless or simplistic styles, and handcrafted, socially responsible or eco-friendly materials. Layered aromas, rich textures, enduring and natural fabrics and substances; hearty and sturdy; never static, always changing; free from manufacturing, over-processing, and chemicals. Pure, essential, enduring.

Since we’re talking about style and fashion, the second thing I have to share is a website called The Lookbook. Check it out. Get inspired. Report back.

Easy Peezy Lemon Squeezy!

Now, what to registry for? Take it from the girl who moved a bulky ice cream maker more times than she used it, when it comes to wedding registries be careful what you ask for. You just might get it.

What I can’t live without:

kitchen staple in pretty, clean white

• The KitchenAid doesn’t just beat dough into submission, with attachments you can turn it into an ice cream maker, a pasta maker, a sausage grinder and much more. It saves space, works like horse and even if you only use it rarely, its classic design will inspire you from the corner of the counter.

• Multiples! You need only host your first Thanksgiving to realize one set of measuring cups and spoons are never enough. Same goes for cutting boards.
• Good knives. Heavy. Balanced. Makes easy work of chopping.
• Stoneware -  I would only ever invest in stoneware, as it’s more durable than earthenware which is a more porous pottery.

What I wish I’d never asked for:

• Popcorn maker – Guess what? They’re called microwaves.
• Coffee makers that brew into thermal carafes that can’t be immersed in water.  Not a good design. If you’re a pot a coffee a day couple like us, invest in quality and avoid gimmicks.
• A cast iron skillet – this one comes with a preface. A cast iron skillet is like a pet, until you’re ready to handle the responsibility of owning a cast iron skillet and that means seasoning the pan, skip it. Without proper care, they rust. I threw mine away blemished with the marks of my own sheer laziness, it was a feeling similar to flushing Frank the Beta Fish down the toilet. I alone was to blame.

Have a lovely weekend!

-Brandy

Hey dollface,

Twice I have mentioned blogging about creative wedding venues. I’ll be perfectly honest, it’s a great idea for a blog post, but it hasn’t come out of this writer just yet. I keep sitting down to write it and inspiration doesn’t strike. So, for now, let’s put that idea on the back burner.

Instead let’s talk about Jetsetter! Qu’avez-vous dit?

Jetsetter is a luxury travel site that notifies you of deals to incredible places. Perfect for Parisian honeymoons, jaunts to NYC, explorations of Prague. I shall warn you some hotels are le cr√®me de la cr√®me…we’re talking $550 a night to stay in the palace where Marie Antoinette received her piano lessons.¬† Other offerings are perfectly affordable. Me and the husband just returned from NYC where we booked our stay at the City Club Hotel through Jetsetter. Our room was cheaper than our recent stay in Nash-Vegas. AND….it was a gorgeous room. AND….they have C.O. Bigelow products in the bathroom.

Take a look…

Lovely, right?

I have a soft spot in my heart for New York. I honeymooned there 10 years ago (I know…I DON’T look old enough to have been married 10 years). It feels like the circle is complete.

Now, wanna see vacation photos?¬† I know you’re reading this from your office cubicle, so I’ll give you the abridged version.

Happy Travels, friends!

Brandy

Dear John,

As I watched the Jim & Pam wedding for the third time this week, I thought: Dude, you set the bar pretty high.¬† You may need my help. Following up the most ADORABLE tv wedding in history* with a real-life engagement to Emily Blunt?¬† There is potential for underwhelming results.¬† You don’t want your fictional wedding to out shine your real-life wedding. Emily Blunt doesn’t want that.¬† Your legion of female fans don’t want that either. We all wish to live vicariously through Pam Emily.

In the spirit of helpfulness I’ve compiled a list of tips men can use to look better in photos.¬† I’ll be honest, this list is mostly an excuse to post a photo of my friend in a fake mustache…but hey, whatever the preface, no matter how weak…it’s my blog!

Sincerely,

Brandy**

P.S. My friend Susan’s FaceBook status reads: Men, just give up. Unless you are Jim Halpert, I don’t want you.

1.) Groom
Not just your role in the wedding, but a verb….an instruction.¬† Men, in college, when you lived in your hoodie and gym shorts, you might have made your girl swoon.¬† Now, you’re going to have to put a little more effort forth. She’s looking at $4000 dresses to wear for one day…yeah, she’s gonna expect you to shave.
Teeth: Nothing emphasizes less-than-white teeth like a white wedding dress.  Buy yourself some Sensodyne toothpaste.  Use it for two weeks prior to the commencement of a teeth whitening treatment. Teeth whiteners leads to a temporary sensitivity, so the Sensodyne is a proactive measure.  Also, there are a lot products on the market.  Just make sure you start the treatments early enough to reach efficacy.
Hair: Schedule your haircut a week before the wedding.  Give your hair cut time to settle in.
Shaving: When I introduced my husband to Kiehl’s shaving cream, he balked at the $18 price tag.¬† Then 6 months later, when he finally ran out, he agreed that it’s the world’s best shaving cream.¬† Also, get yourself one of those ridiculous razers with like 12 redundant blades, or whatever you men use.
Fragrance: Even though photography still lacks scratch-n-sniff technology, a problem not to be remedied until Apple recruits Willa Wonka to head R&D,¬† you should wear cologne. If you don’t have a signature scent, consider getting one. Sephora offers a $75 sampler gift certificate.¬† You get to try 7 different fragrances and after you’ve picked a favorite, redeem the gift certificate for a full-size bottle.

2.) Watch America’s Next Top Model

I should warn you, it’s addictive.¬† You’ll catch yourself making all kinds of fierce faces in the mirror and contorting your body in ridiculous ways…none of which are necessary for good photos, but fun nonetheless!

3.) If all else fails…try a mustache.
Instantly more debonair.  Just look at these before and afters:

Before Mustache: note the slightly surly expression.

After Mustache: Instantly more happy and the world goes black & white!

*TV’s Most Memorable Weddings

Do you agree?¬† Quite frankly, I didn’t even remember Donna & David got married.¬† Now, if Chuck & Blair marry, I’ll remember that!

**Official member of the FaceBook group: If Jim & Pam don’t end up together, I’ll kill myself.

Long-time stalker…er reader, first-time writer.¬† I’m recently engaged and I want my wedding pictures to look amazing.¬† What helpful tips do you have to share?

Sincerely,

Soon-to-be-Real Housewife

Dear STBRH,

No need for the nom de plume, I know it’s you, Bethenny Frankel. First, let me say that you’re the funniest Housewife. In fact, the tv powers that be should grant you your own television series based on your wedding planning.¬† I’d happily serve as your wise-cracking wedding photographer / cake taste-taster.¬† I love cake!¬† It’s a symbiotic relationship made in cable tv heaven.

As for the answer to your question: Don’t worry.¬† You’re happy.¬† Your pictures will be gorgeous.

I know some readers will gnash their teeth if that is all I contribute to this topic…so allow me to elaborate.¬† As the daughter of a hair stylist, who grew up reading a LOT of beauty magazines I can speak with authority* on looking one’s best.

1.) Be a slightly more fabulous version of yourself.
Your wedding day is not the time to experiment with M.A.C.’s Gold Lame lip color.¬† In fact, save yourself $9…trust me, it’s not pretty.¬† Just be you!¬† If your look is a bold eye and a pale lip, do that or better yet….

2.) Have someone professional apply your make-up.
You’ll be slightly more fabulous just by trusting the professionals.¬† They’ll be able to apply those false eyelashes that you’ve been too intimidated to try or too clumsy to master.¬† They’ll make your eyes pop.¬† A make-up artist knows that camera flash will wash you out.¬† They’ll apply a touch more liner than you wear to the office…while not giving you Crazy Panda eyes….unless you’re Little J from Gossip Girl and Crazy Panda eyes ARE the slightly more fabulous version of yourself.

3.)  Beauty Routine
Eyebrows: Don’t wax the day before photos. Also, I speak to you from personal experience, at-home microwavable wax can scald you.¬† Leave waxing to the professionals.¬† Better yet, try threading.
Face: Invest $4 in one of those battery operated things you find at CVS designed to remove peach fuzz from the face.  Your make-up will go on so much better.
Skin: moisturize!¬† Shine can always be removed with loose powder.¬† Dry skin can’t.
Hair: This can get very expensive.¬† If you can afford to do nothing else, spend $10 on Clairol’s Natural Instinct’s Shine Happy Treatment.¬† It makes your hair pretty!
Body: Get a massage the day before your wedding. If you think it’s too expensive, might I suggest skipping the outer envelope on the invitation?¬† You deserve…nay….NEED a massage.¬† Aunt Madge doesn’t need two envelopes.

4.) Warning to all Carrie types
You know who you are.¬† Some girls are Charlotte types: classic, slightly preppy, identifiable by their glossy hair.¬† Some girls are Carrie types: bold fashion choices that seem odd until a watered down version is spotted in the Chico’s window display.¬† Carrie types are prone to regretting their fashion choices 5 to 10 years later. Avoid cringing and eschew the mocking of future daughters by keeping it simple.¬† Simple does not mean unaccessorized or boring…it means understated.¬† For example: if you’re tempted to replicate Carrie’s bird-in-the-hair craziness…DON’T…choose a birdcage charm delightfully attached to the ribbon of your bouquet. And that my friends is called a motif, a concept which can be played up on placecards, napkins, cake-toppers and everything else that becomes the detail shots of your beautifully orchestrated day.

5.) Engagement Sessions
Consider this the dress rehearsal to the big performance.¬† An engagement session serves many purposes.¬† Couples become comfortable with the camera.¬† You get to practice smiling.¬† Maybe it’s not even for your benefit.¬† Think about it…your future husband did not grow up reading beauty magazines.¬† He did not spend the better part of last weekend watching the America’s Next Top Model marathon on VH-1 reinforcing the importance of smiling with your eyes.¬† He also has no idea what Tyra means when she screams, “NECK.”¬† HE needs the engagement session. You, my dear bride, will be great.

More tips
Real Simple
The Future Mrs. Darcy

*Recently uncovered photographs from the early aughts may disprove this theory.  The lesson we can ALL learn from those is that one should either wear day-glow orange or frosted eyeshadow, but not both.