Sing it, Beaker.¬† I can’t help but shed tears of diamonds every time I watch that honest expression of emotion.¬† You know, friends, I feel a little like Beaker today: Me meee. Me me meeee me mee meeeeee.
Why? My dog passed away. Oh and I have the flu. Thanks for asking. I’m doing okay though.¬† I expect to transition out of the first stage of the grieving process by next week.
The 5 Stages of Grief according to me:
1.) Pride & Prejudice Marathon stage
This stage begins with Masterpiece Theater’s take on Austen, including my favorite Northanger Abbey. Then you watch Mansfield Park, the 1999 film version. This leads to the Colin Firth subcategory of grief, because how can you be sad looking deep into those warm brown pools.
You start with Pride & Prejudice, in which Bridget Jones’ Diary follows, but not the sequel – that sucked. We go back to period costumes in Girl With a Pearl Earring, The Importance of Being Earnest, & finally The English Patient. For those who seek yet more comfort from Colin can watch Love Actually.¬† And for those really, really desperate, you still have the crappier movies I refuse to watch on principle: What a Girl Wants, Nanny McPhee & Mama Mia.
Then we return to Austen with Gwenyth Paltrow as Emma, which inspires a viewing of Clueless with Paul Rudd, more warm brown eyes….ah. You’re starting to feel strong, but still weepy. It can take weeks depending on your Netflix to transition into the next stage.
2.) Roberta Flack on vinyl ALL-THE-TIME stage
This is where you sing the entire Roberta Flack catalog in a three-hour shower / concert. Nothing but Soft-Rock & Sad Jazz will suffice. Tell me you won’t cry when you hear Nina Simone’s Here Comes the Sun? Dusty Springfield?¬† I have a playlist entitled “Singing with your eyes shut.” It’s aptly titled.
If you’re still in bad shape, might I suggest Jeff Buckley’s Grace on repeat until you’re ready to progress to stage 3.
3.) the stage where one emotionally eats a tub of Boursin
Don’t judge me with your judging eyes, it’s called a coping mechanism.
4.) Furniture Rearranging
After a long bout of sloth, you find renewed energy. You look around and find you’ve let your apartment become a pig sty. Get up and clean.¬† What’s that under your couch? Well, you have to move it to vacuum, you might as well see what it looks like under the window. Then your husband comes home to find nothing where it was.¬† You’re knee deep in paint. You can’t reach the ceiling even with the ladder, oh would he mind so much just painting a little for you. He agrees so long as you do not attempt hard-wire installing that new chandelier all by your lonesome.
5.) Build a bridge
to get over yourself.
Check out this book that I found:¬† We Feel Fine
All this emotion is sure to make you nostalgic. Look through your photo albums and find a submission for the website: ¬† My Parents Were Awesome
EDITED TO ADD: a review of IMDB reveals an upcoming starring role for Colin Firth in Dorian Gray, the film adaptation of one of my favorite Oscar Wilde books.¬† YESSS!!!!!!