Why I hate my blog

Happy holidays, everyone! Though Christmas is two days away, this is also the birthday week of some very important loved ones, my husband, Charly, my self-appointed God child, Sasha and our good friend, Mike. Happy birthday!  Sorry that you were born on a week when everyone forgets your birthday.

And now for the most self-indulged journal entry blog post that no one has to read:

Recently, I dined and toasted up some French 75’s with two lady photog friends who were discussing their blogs. It got me thinking about my own. To be perfectly honest, I have a love / hate relationship with this blog.  It’s time I reconcile this dichotomy.

Why I hate my blog

  • Resent the fact that I have to
  • The adage of “The perfect is the enemy of the good”
  • Concerned with sounding unprofessional

The intended purpose of this blog is to market myself as a photographer, but I find that too restrictive and quite frankly, boring. I resent the fact that I have to blog /Tweet/ Facebook / Tumblr in the first place. Yes, it’s a wedding / portrait photography standard. It feels like digital homework to this analog girl. Perhaps I’m trying to justify my less than prolific publishing schedule, but seriously does the world need more content?

If I’m going to produce content, I want it to be compelling, not just an advertisement of my services. I have an obligation to the 12 of you who read this blog to edutain you. The goal becomes engaging, inspiring and helpful blog posts as quantifiably measured by retweets and FB likes.  Perfection is a moving target. The closer you get to “perfect” the more difficult it is to attain. I am a perfectionist Virgo through and through. It makes me a good photographer. It keeps my taste level high and my output well curated. When that perfectionism is applied to this blog – it becomes a huge time sink, full of scope creep. I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about how I want to say it – that I produce very little actual content. Analysis paralysis. I do love updating my Facebook status because I can’t stray far from a single thought. It limits how I can express my thoughts, which can be a good thing for me as thoughts ping pong around my brain space.

Personal expression is kind of important to me. It serves two functions. First, the finger-painting little girl in me needs the creative outlet. In fact I need many different outlets. Singing. Writing. Dance breaks when iTunes has the good grace to shuffle Madonna’s Revolver….her best song in ages IMO. Aesthetics. Cutting my hair into a faux-hawk, whatever.  Second, it’s a place to cast your Judge Judy eyes and decide if you like me. If you’re hiring me you need to gel with me. It serves as a filter for would-be clients. It’s like the Match dates you felt obliged to participate in before you met your Prince Charming. This blog is my first date shpeel. I am some lucky couple’s Prince Charming photographer. But it’s okay if I’m not yours. Reconciling the two functions pose a potential problem. If I drop the contrived Office Barbie voice and write about whatever I feel inspired to share…be it non-photography related, then I’m guilty of breaking the 4th wall of professionalism. Look, if I write about any number of non-serious topics in which I take very very seriously: my cat, flash mobs as a life goal or say…how I thought I had invented the word “fabiola” only to learn that it already existed in Urban Dictionary, then I don’t want you, potential client, to conclude that because I talked about my cat or use the word “fabiola” in a sentence that I would conduct myself in a less than professional manner.

How I’m  going to love my blog

I vow

  • to not care what potential clients think of me.
  • to not measure my validity based on other photographer’s blogging schedule or content.
  • to blur the line between work and personal, because quite frankly it’s all personal.

There. I said it. For someone as transparent as I am, this might be a huge misstep, but I’m having a serious Oprah moment here, folks. I must live in “my truth.” My truth is this, everything I do must be a vehicle for creativity. That might result in a blog that veers off the road of photography from time to time. I hope it serves to keep my inspiration fresh.

December 23, 2010 - 4:10 pm

Lisa Ridgely - I love blogs that really show the personal side of the artist (photographer, painter, designer, whatever). They are my consistent favorites, and the ones that are least likely to be axed from my google reader. I want to know the real person behind it all, and what they’re up to besides their ‘core art’. And as you said, really it’s all personal for many artists. I can understand the need for professionalism, but I think there is definitely lots of room for personality without crossing the line into unprofessionalism.

December 23, 2010 - 4:33 pm

Lisa Boggs - perfectly written! I couldn’t agree more, my friend! :)

December 23, 2010 - 6:35 pm

Debi - This pretty much sums up how I feel too. Well said! French 75’s kick butt too!